This week, I’m thinking about the continuously fluctuating role of procrastination in my life.
For most of my childhood, procrastination wasn’t really part of my vocabulary. I did everything early. When I came home from school, I’d do my homework first before anything else. I’d even have my clothes laid out the night before, my bag packed and ready to go. That way of living carried me all the way through high school. But somewhere in college, that changed.
I don’t know exactly when or why, but there was a rise of procrastination in my adult years. Deadlines crept closer, tasks piled up, and stress took over my life. I started living in this constant pressure, punctuated by moments of panic where everything felt urgent at once. For a long time, it felt like an inescapable problem. The world would feel like it was ending, and somehow I’d still deal with it. Then the cycle would start all over again.
The stress of procrastinating really started to catch up with me. Recently, while working on the Short n’ Sweet show, I noticed how different this process felt. When planning the show, I had really slowed down and planned everything methodically and with care. Nothing was rushed or left to the last minute. And that made me wonder how I used to live under that constant stress all the time. Why did I finally stop procrastinating?
I realized that the stress had to stop because I physically cannot push myself the way I used to, to meet last-minute deadlines. My lifestyle has changed, and my body has changed with it. What’s slowly revealed itself to me is that doing the mental labor upfront saves me from so much physical and emotional strain later. Planning ahead, pacing myself, and thinking things through isn’t about controlling every outcome, it’s about taking care of myself.
The mindfulness of being intentional with my energy has spilled itself into my personal life as well. Being intentional isn’t just something I practice in the studio anymore; it’s becoming a way of living. This wasn’t a sudden transformation. It unfolded gradually, over time. But it’s changed the way I move through my days. I’m learning that slowing down, planning ahead, and honoring my limits isn’t a loss of spontaneity — it’s a form of kindness to my future mental and physical health. I’m curious to see how this way of living continues to unfold, and I’m hoping it’s a pattern that sticks.
Yours truly,
Makara