With a new residency happening at the library, I’ve been thinking a lot about my artistic process and how my relationship with it has changed over time. Not just the way I move through my process, but my actual feelings about it and whether I felt confident in it.
It’s the process that results in what I call “narrative landscape”. Essentially, when I’m making artwork about a landscape, I’m usually expressing my own feelings through the composition and artistic choices made in a piece. For example, if I feel complicated about something, the composition might be really dynamic in a piece. I often will use nature in my work to symbolize different emotions.
Because this looks different in every piece I’ve made, it hasn’t always been easy for other people to understand what I’m trying to do, nor has it been easy for me to explain it. I’d feel really insecure at an art show if my work was in it, because there wasn’t a cohesive “aesthetic” or “style” I had. It felt like others had something developed that I just didn’t.
However, the process of making the piece was cohesive, it just didn’t look that way in the end result. I always start the same; if I’m physically in the environment, I start with slow looking. I’ll notice how the environment makes me feel, the sensory of it. I pay attention to what I pay attention to. I consider what psychological factors contribute to the aspects of the environment I’m noticing. Why am I drawn to a particular thing in the environment?
If I’m remembering the environment I was in, then I work backwards, and think about the environment compositionally. I’ll consider what parts of it stick out for me now, and how that relates to my feelings. Whether I’m remembering the scene, or I’m taking notes from being physically there, they both result in small scale sketches of the environment. I form the composition, play with sizing and scale of things, all along checking the way to see if it feels the way it should.
It differs from some more traditional landscape painting, as I’m not trying to paint something exactly as it physically is. I’m aiming to paint it the way I perceive it. This also affects if I paint the scene more romantically, solemnly, etc. The psychological state I’m in, and the natural environment, work together to form this composition.
I think being able to make work this way is a strength, not a weakness. Even if I didn’t realize it at first, the ability to translate embodiment into a visual is a skill. It might not look cohesive all the time, but that's okay. I also like how this process gives me a lot of freedom to play with decisions. I don’t want to be stuck to one particular aesthetic, I want to be able to shift and see what feels right for me.
As I’ve been able to reflect on this process more during the residency, its become something I realize I’m really proud of. The process is authentic, and very me, and that’s what matters. I’m excited to see how the narrative landscape process grows and becomes implemented further into my practice.
Yours truly,
Makara